VivianThe issue with the sex toys
October 9th 2007 17:42
Walking up Sudbury Hill tube station today, I couldnt hear the classical music, therefore I failed to relaxed. Being completely tense I came home. Sitting on my bed now, I try to make sense of my thoughts. How does the loss of a father role will affect my future decision for my future love life. Having been in -more than two hands can count- different love lives, I still dont know what the rightness of it all is. Recently I was wondering what you might do with the sex toys, you and your partner bought together, after you break up? Keep them...what would my point be in the next relationship, quite funny when I think I could introduce sex toys from my ex to my new toy. On the other hand, why throw them away? They are too expensive and too exciting as it is. Anyway it is immoral to throw perfectly functional things away, if you can still use them. Do other people even have sex toys? Or is that a television cliche, like in Sex and the City or Friends? I mean do non-pervets have them, like me and my boyfriend. I would not know, how can I? No one tells me. My father certainly doesn't, although I doubt if he still would be here, i wouldn't ask him for an opinion. I don't wanna keep on talking about sex toys, because the actual thing I am after is more considerate then something that vibrates. It is security. I shoud probably keep that too myself as I should have kept the toys issue to myself, but all I want is someone, I can call mine. I am not in favour of talking about a person as being mine, however, if you get married, is that what you call your husband, MINE? Owned by...certainly not.
I know at least 5 people being my age or a bit older, who are living the married life. And I envy them. They don't have to worry about finding th right one, they don't have to wonder if the right one will ever come walzing by. All they have to worry about is, when the times of difficulties come, how and if they get a divorce. But that seems ages away. You might as well then decide to stick to it and do what you promised, love each other til death will part us. And even then you will continue loving then, although in a very painful way.
I don't think we are living in a time where you stick with one and the same person for the rest of your life. Even though I believe in the romantic love-til-the-end-of-all-times marriage. I think it rocks. However, from what I see on the street, from what I get when I listen to the wind whistle around the houses of London, I hear that we are not made for living a monogamous life, but rather a polygamous one. Be happy with the ones, who come by every two months.
It is not what I want. The older I get, day by day, all I want is to get married. More and more I find young married couples attractive.
The irony is, if any boyfriend would read that, they would make a run for it. They are all the more occupied with the sex toys, which they should really be at that time of their lives. Maybe I should be as well? Not being concerned with emotional security but with pysical pleasure?
Not being able to hear the classical music in my head, I fail again to relax, so I stay tense with all my thoughts, which will not find their answers until I reach the day, where I get married. And that, unfortunately, seems very long away.
It is not what I want. The older I get, day by day, all I want is to get married. More and more I find young married couples attractive.
The irony is, if any boyfriend would read that, they would make a run for it. They are all the more occupied with the sex toys, which they should really be at that time of their lives. Maybe I should be as well? Not being concerned with emotional security but with pysical pleasure?
Not being able to hear the classical music in my head, I fail again to relax, so I stay tense with all my thoughts, which will not find their answers until I reach the day, where I get married. And that, unfortunately, seems very long away.
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Comment by Anonymous
this story is fictional, except for those parts, which arent!
Comment by Anonymous
Why do you have this need? Is the reason really the loss of your father? I think your a father can always be loyal, but he maybe can't give you this security eather. Think about this and than think about the need again. Maybe you have to accept that your definition of security is nothing more than a wonderfull dream.
I think you are looking for someone in whose presence you can be yourself with no protection wall around yourself and without any fear that he will take this secrets out of his hands.
First of all you will never find someone were you can be a hundred percent sure that he will take this secrets confidential. Second: You will find a friend with who you can be like you want, if you risk something. And if this friend really loves you than he won't give the secrets away even if this love will end some day. Have face and keep on looking for him!
Life is to short and if you don'f risk something sometime you will never discover what you are looking for.
By the way I doupt you really wanna have this kind of security because such a security will also limit your life and liberty enourmous.
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
What kind of security are you looking for? Financial? As you say yourself you don't believe in monogamy, so why marry? What about long term relationships?