October 2007 - Relation Clips

trading number 2 for love

October 17th 2007 13:16

That's the thing with failing relationships. You can always refuse to answer any question by repeating it. "Do you love me?" "Do you want a divorce?" "Are you happy?" Your partner is invariably as ambivalent as you are, and if he or she is human - that is to say, cowardly but at the same time full of moral self-righteouness- then he or she will not commit themselves through any expression of passion or commitment. After all, the absence of passion or commitment is the reason why the relationship is failing, surely? (Nick Hornby)

So what is the thing with healthy relationships? The abscence of misery is not inevitably the proof for a positve answer to the question "Do you love me", but rather the poor attempt of neglect. Never underestimate the power of denial or never underestimate the desire to perfection, which seems inappropriate in a relationship which is eventually the sum of two person's opinion of righteouness and wrong-doing. How to be good is now-a-days a mixture of conscious, charities and altruism. Charity, from its origin also translated as love, starts at home. Home as in the bedroom, which is at a young ages the playground for experiments, pain, abuse, fantasies and love practice. Which one cannot be sure of its utter standing within one's life. So one wanders from bedroom to kitchen table and back over the bathroom, just to do the same thing in later life: stumbling rather than wandering from marriage to fling to affairs to divorce. Eventually arriving on your mental grave, looking up, seeing the sky, failing to observe the slightest glow of hope. Mentally hopeless and physically beaten-up. Looking back, one would know that he'd give is life to trade the experience of number two with the doubtlessness of love.

Whats left to say: Maroon 5: I tried my best to feed her appetite, I kept her coming every nite, it's so hard to keep her satified. This love has taken its toll on me she said good-bye so many times before.

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Desperate housewife versus David Beckham

October 17th 2007 12:34

Desperate housewife versus David Beckham

“[N]ot all feminists think the same, but most agree that there is a problem with masculinity” (Van Zoonen, 2000). Following Van Zoonen's argument one can see that there has always been a class system for men and women in the mass media. Since the beginning of time men have been portrayed as the breadwinners, women as the housewives. Desperate housewife versus David Beckham. Even despite women receiving the privilege to vote in 1920s, the successes of the 1960s and 1970s liberation movements, and the first appointment of a women as Senior Commission Officer in charge of news and current affairs by Channel 4 in 1980, one could argue that the class system for men and women is still the same today. But it all turned into a fight for equality and the realization of one hindrance: masculinity. Although Channel 4's attempted failed miserably, the campaign against women's stereotypes in the media stayed and organizations like Media Watch were founded.
But what are the commonly accepted gender roles now in our society? Is there still a problem with masculinity, even in the year 2006? Celia Brayfield discusses this same question in her article “How feminism began – with shopping in the 17th century” (The Times, 2005). Subconsciously drawing a picture of the modern woman as a shopping queen and this her only economic and social power, I wonder if this is still the existing role. According to Helen Baehr and Angela Spindler-Brown (1996), males still outnumber females in high positions by far and people laugh about men who want to become a househusbands. On the other side though trends show that women prefer more and more a career over a family and are more willing to work their way up. Best example: Angela Merkel, not judging if this is an exclusively positive or negative argument.
If this is the case that in 2006 men are accept to be househusband and women tend to be more career focused, is it that television also recognizes this change and reproduces it on screen? “Woman can become lawyers. To retain its dominance, the hegemonic system must adapt”(Lont, 1995).

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Posted By: Vivian - Category: No Category

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Living the L-Word

October 13th 2007 15:59

‘L’ for liberal or lesbian. Obviously referring to the American TV series, I was wondering if the US has become more liberal in promotion lesbian relationships? Even though it is still ruled by someone, who doesn’t support any kind of open-minded relationships, it is astonishing that TV has taken care of a new dimension of sexual encounter. Maybe it is on its way to become a liberal oriented ‘world’. Are they going into the ‘right’ direction (private joke for Germans: remember the advert: Europa macht man nicht mit links??), well, first steps have been made: Al Gore, the latest winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, Oscar winner of the documentary ‘A Inconvenient truth’. Where does that urge of salving your green conscious come from all of a sudden? It all seems a bit commercial. Save the earth whenever you can make money or be more popular. Fair enough. Society is ruled by the elite and as long as saving the earth makes them happy, it will be ok with me. Live Earth, Live Aid, the world is shaken by a new fashion. As long as the rich and fabulous keep on wearing the green dress, the earth and the so called third world should be just fine. Let’s just hope, black (as in color and political view) will not return any time soon.
‘L’ for lesbian…just another sex toy? A fashion, a passion? At least it promotes an open-minded attitude, America can support. Result: everyone is happy.

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The issue with the sex toys

October 9th 2007 17:42

Walking up Sudbury Hill tube station today, I couldnt hear the classical music, therefore I failed to relaxed. Being completely tense I came home. Sitting on my bed now, I try to make sense of my thoughts. How does the loss of a father role will affect my future decision for my future love life. Having been in -more than two hands can count- different love lives, I still dont know what the rightness of it all is. Recently I was wondering what you might do with the sex toys, you and your partner bought together, after you break up? Keep them...what would my point be in the next relationship, quite funny when I think I could introduce sex toys from my ex to my new toy. On the other hand, why throw them away? They are too expensive and too exciting as it is. Anyway it is immoral to throw perfectly functional things away, if you can still use them. Do other people even have sex toys? Or is that a television cliche, like in Sex and the City or Friends? I mean do non-pervets have them, like me and my boyfriend. I would not know, how can I? No one tells me. My father certainly doesn't, although I doubt if he still would be here, i wouldn't ask him for an opinion. I don't wanna keep on talking about sex toys, because the actual thing I am after is more considerate then something that vibrates. It is security. I shoud probably keep that too myself as I should have kept the toys issue to myself, but all I want is someone, I can call mine. I am not in favour of talking about a person as being mine, however, if you get married, is that what you call your husband, MINE? Owned by...certainly not.
I know at least 5 people being my age or a bit older, who are living the married life. And I envy them. They don't have to worry about finding th right one, they don't have to wonder if the right one will ever come walzing by. All they have to worry about is, when the times of difficulties come, how and if they get a divorce. But that seems ages away. You might as well then decide to stick to it and do what you promised, love each other til death will part us. And even then you will continue loving then, although in a very painful way.
I don't think we are living in a time where you stick with one and the same person for the rest of your life. Even though I believe in the romantic love-til-the-end-of-all-times marriage. I think it rocks. However, from what I see on the street, from what I get when I listen to the wind whistle around the houses of London, I hear that we are not made for living a monogamous life, but rather a polygamous one. Be happy with the ones, who come by every two months.
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