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Most Popular Relation Clips - September 2007

How to complain-effectively

September 28th 2007 19:59
How to complain – effectively

One other thing I learned from my father was, how to complain. He complained about everything, tiny or big, it did not matter. Very funny though, he did it very effectively. He would get what he wanted and even got more of what he not wanted, just to complain again. So here I am still in diapers, learning how to get what I want from the master itself.
You don’t wanna carry me home (arms full of grocery-bags, struggeling to make it to the next bus station), fine I look for the next cold winter puddle and sit right into it and won’t move until you pick me up and carry me home. You wanna feet me spinach? Fine I start crying with this annoying high-pitch voice and if that doesn’t help, I just throw the plate against the next wall, painting the room in a lovely dirty green.

Well, what a trouble child. That kid might need some anger management in its later years. WRONG! This kid knows what it wants.
However, sitting into the nearest puddle if you got the wrong dish served in a restaurant won’t bother anyone, except for you, because you are 32 years old and will now certainly lie in bed with a bladder infection. Plus you do look ridiculous sitting there all sulky and childish.
There is a better option. Complain-effectively (my friends will confirm that I am not happy if I can’t complain and that most people are a bit terrified when I start being a quite straight-forward and forceful negotiator. Might just be, they are terrified, because I am German. But I like to believe that is, because I know how to get things straight).
Here we go:
Don’t be too personal. It doesn’t do you any good if you just blame the person who is closest to you. It might not even be there fault. Most likely in a big company the person you are complaining to had nothing to do with the actual error made. So, don’t kill the messenger!

Avoid phases like “you have done this and that wrong”, try to be a bit more calm with passive phrases like “there has been a mix-up” or “I am a bit confused, I think a mistake has been made”.

Secondly, don’t be harsh or impolite, no matter how angry you are. If you start shouting or using words like “I want immediately” or “you must do this and that now”, people will get defensive and your complaint won’t go very far. Be polite, let them know that you understand their situation, but also don’t forget to make clear that you are right (if you are) and that you won’t beg off. Eventually your aim is to get the mistake corrected and that to you benefit.
Don’t worry, if you follow those rules, you will see soon that people will offer you a great deal to make up for their mistakes J.
To show them that you are in control, make sure you smile and use phrases like “there seems to have been a mistake”, “would you mind checking it for me”, “I was hoping to sort this out”, “I understand what you mean, however…”

Are we good until here? I think that will do it, however if you are still not satisfied, be a bit more forceful and show them that you will go all the nine yards if neccessary. Ask to speak to their manager or supervisior.

Well, if your friend works for the local newspaper or radio station and you have the connection you might as well mention it, I am sure that always helps

For extreme case, contact me, I am sure I can get you a great dealJ J
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The RidiculeGene

September 18th 2007 15:56
5 SIMPLE Rules on how to make-up for poor parenting

STEP 1: Simply re-pole the 'father-daughter-gene'

A plasmid harboring a normal DADX7 gene has little chance of being re-poled within its natural surroundings of the DAU6T3R genome at a similar DADX7 site since the DIS recombinase will destroy the integreted MISS46-ED in a DNA fragment

STEP 2: Simply replace the plus with the minus on either end

Lentiviral vectores (although known as CGB = captivating generational behaviour) have to be injected into a sample of your own one-cell embryo or incubated with DADX7 embryos from which persona Miss Conduct was withdrawn, are particularly sufficient, however endangered by the rare survival rate of 2%.

STEP 3: Bake a Chocolate Cake to relax and refocuse

Melt 250 gramms of dark milky chocolate in a bath of hot water.
Crush 6 egg whites into a bowl and stir into a crispy foam.
Put 6 egg yolks into another bowl and add 75 gramms of sugar, mix.
Now gently bring the egg yolk/sugar mix together with the chocolate and add 75gramms of flour.
Finally fold in the egg white foam to the rest. Preferably and very carefully with a big spoon.
Oven 180, 25 minutes.
...the creamy and chocolicious FRENCH CHOCOLATE CAKE

ps: Sit down, enjoy, think things over and realize...a mouthful of chocoltae cake makes life that much simpler. You will start seeing the father-daughter gene in perspective.
Well done!

STEP 4: Simply concentrate on the LOV37 plus preemptive injection

Inject a mutant LOV37 cell. In the meantime rely on the use of the OPHS gene (other peoples' help system). The cell can only survive in the SCUFE medium (although known as self-confident, user-friendly environment), which contains vitamine C and thymidine.

STEP 5: Simply finish it off

The IDM gene (stands for: important decision making) is introduced at the targeted AL (adolescent life) site by a double homologous recombination although known as:

"DON'T EAT YELLOW SNOW" or

"CONSCIOUS DECISIONS CAN GET YOU OUT OF ANY SITUATION, EVENTHOUGH IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT YOU ENDED UP THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE"


(also see NEXT by M. Crichton, page 434ff) or
for further enqueries contact

The RidiculeGene office
Smirkoutloud Avenue
Stud-enten and Hengst-erpel section 3
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INTERMEZZO

September 14th 2007 13:56
I wanted to leave. Not only because I couldn’t stand the situation anymore, but also because God told me to do so. He talked to me in my dreams and I knew, leaving was the only right thing to do.
I hadn’t much to take with me I took my nap-sack and filled it with a chunk of bread and my knife.
I wished I had more, but everything else had been burned down in the fire. I felt lonely and devastated.
A tears was rolling down my cheek when I thought about my beloved family. I would carry them in my heart now and forever wherever I would go.
When I left it poured it down. Thick clouds where above me and everything seemed to be gray.
It might also have come from all the ashes around me.
I do not remember which direction I chose, East, West, South or north. T that time I simply didn’t care.
I kept on strolling around for hours and hours. After a day or so I reached a forest, where I had to hack my way through. Twigs scratched my naked arms and legs and the blood started running down my body. But I didn’t feel even the tinniest hint of pain. I had already suffered too much.
On day two I approached a well-known area. The air was closed and I felt a strong need for water. I knelt down on the crystal lake and filed my hands with water, but memories prevented me from drinking. My throat tightened. This was the lake my brother had shown me before. It wasn’t full of water but full of memories. This was the place where he told me his dream: ‘One day’, he said, ‘one day I want to see the ocean.’ And now he would never see anything again in his life.
Again and again my mind reviewed the scene when the house had caught fire. I saw my brother’s desperate eyes searching for help. Again and again.
I have never felt so lonely in my life. When I had left I didn’t really know where to go, but now I knew. The lake and the memories gave me the answer.
I pulled myself up and went towards the ocean.
I knew my journey would be long and exhausting, but I never thought it to be so lonely.
Nights were even worse. The only thing I ever heard were my own desperate screams; screams for motivation and help.
Al I got was a poor echo even lonelier than me.
I don’t remember how long I walked or if it was real, but one day at the fall of dusk, I realized I had finally arrived.
This was the first time I saw the ocean and I saw it through my brother’s eyes.
A great peace filed my body and heart.
I ripped off all my clothes and dived into the ocean. The smooth and warm water surrounded my body. I had never felt so free in my life.
When I fell asleep on the beach it was almost dark. I listened tot eh constant rhythm of the waves. It was like music to my ears.
I took my knife and stabbed it into my chest and when the blood started running I knew, I had finally arrived.
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To Whom It May Concern

September 14th 2007 12:41
Today I am the girl I always wanted to be. The most wonderful part is: I trust that girl to handle everything in her life with honesty and bravery.
This feeling hasn't exist even a couple of years ago.

[ Click here to read more ]
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